The "O" Word
Conservative by Nature, Christian by Choice
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Gotta Love Mondays

November 24th, 2008 . by Cary

I mean, I have so much rolling around in my head – I doubt all of it will get written.

Saturday evening, I got my first cab at about 1645 hours. When I went out to check it and get it ready to go, I had to put air in the left front tire – and I wasn’t sure it would stay there. Once I got on the road, I could hear the “tik-tik-tik” of something metallic in the tire, so I pulled into a parking lot and looked it over – sure enough, a nail in the tread. I took that one back, and got a second cab by 1715 hours. First call was to a bar on 83rd Ave. and Indian School. A lady (who apparently is an early-evening drinker) needed a ride home. When she tried to get into the back seat, she couldn’t. I mean she just could NOT get her body to work right so she could climb into the back seat. She asked if she could sit in front, and I told her yes. I went around, opened the front door, cleared my stuff off the seat, and held the door for her. Now, the cab company policy is that the driver is not to touch the passenger. That means that the passenger is supposed to be able to get themselves in and out of the cab on their own. If they need help due to a medical condition, then the passenger is supposed to contact a non-emergency medical transport company. At any rate – this lady was having a hard time getting into the front seat, also. Don’t get me wrong – she could walk under her own power – she just couldn’t climb onto the seat. At one point, I noticed that the exertions had caused her to urinate in her jeans. Yes, she was working that hard to climb into the cab.

Did I mention that she is a little person? A dwarf – midget – whatever they call themselves.

She finally got herself situated kind of oddly – so that her legs were in the area of the floorboards, and her upper body was on the seat – and she was pretty much laying, face down, on the front seat of the car after fifteen minutes of attempting to get in. She gave me the address, and we were off. Once we arrived at her house (about seven blocks from the bar) it took her another five minutes to get back OUT of the car. She was, however, very gracious, and tipped nicely (the fare was $5.00 and she added two). I managed to keep a straight face until I was at least a block away, and then I just couldn’t help but laugh until the next call came in…

Maggie Thornton cross-posted a piece on global warming on her own Notebook and on Reject the U.N. regarding Global Warming. You’ve all heard how 2500 distinguished scientists have backed the warming models used in the dire predictions – have you heard that 500 of them have since retracted their support? Or that more than 31,000 scientists have signed a petition stating that all the hot air about Anthropogenic Global Warming is just that – a bunch of hot air? I wonder why the MSM hasn’t published any articles about the group that is fifteen times larger…

From Wild Phil comes news that there is a new wine designed especially for seniors. From his e-mail:

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as


PINO MORE.

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE!

Perhaps they can start serving it at 83rd and Indian School first…

cary

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3 Responses to “Gotta Love Mondays”

  1. comment number 1 by: Bloviating Zeppelin

    You were a better man than I would have been, holding your humor until AFTER she left your car!

    BZ

  2. comment number 2 by: Just John

    I’d hate to be the next fare…

    I once saw a drunk “little person” at a bar in SoCal. He was trying to pick a fight with an entire baseball team. It was amusing to watch, and he didn’t pee in my car.

  3. comment number 3 by: cary

    No worries, John – her jeans never touched the seat!

    I about busted a gut trying to keep from laughing all the way to her home; I am so glad she was face down all the way there…