The "O" Word
Conservative by Nature, Christian by Choice
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Rainy Monday

February 9th, 2009 . by Cary

Yup, raining here in the Valley of the Sun. I understand Flagstaff is expecting up to a foot of Global Warming (see #4) today, on top of the seven inches of Global Warming (see #4) they got on Sunday. Speaking of Sundays…

Did I tell you the one about NFC Sunday and the guy who should have lost his mancard privileges?

I had a cab on a 24 hour lease for the Sunday that the Cardinals played the Eagles for the NFC title. The “conventional wisdom” at the cage was that sitting at a cabstand at Westgate (where the University of Phoenix Stadium is located) (i know, naming a “professional” stadium for a college…) would be the big money. Knowing that the “conventionally wise” drivers would be doing just that, I stayed away from Westgate, on the theory (proven time and again, by the way) that while all the cabs are jockeying for places at Westgate, no one was available to pick up all the rides wanting to get anywhere else. So, I was busy from the time I got out of church until I turned the cab in on Monday morning. At any rate –

I had taken a short break about 1500, since I was near the home 20, and grabbed a bite to eat. I then got back on the stick, and cruised over towards Westgate, about three miles from my house to begin with. I was at the corner of Glendale Avenue and 91st Avenue when a 20something guy flagged me down. Geekboy jumped in, and said that he needed to pick up his girlfriend. He was on the phone with girlfriend, and kept chatting and cajoling her to hurry. Where was she? On Maryland Avenue, supposedly meeting him at 91st Ave. Maryland is one of the streets that got extended into the former cotton fields to provide more access and egress for Westgate and the resultant development around it. I couldn’t go south on 91st, since it was the fourth quarter and traffic control had already started setting it up for mass exit. I turned around, went to 83rd, and dropped south to Maryland there. An officer was working traffic control there, also, keeping non-residents from cutting through the neighborhood. I told him my fare wanted to pick up his girlfriend at 91st and Maryland. The nice officer let us through. (i’m pretty sure he thought i meant that geekboy’s girlfriend lived in the neighborhood in the vicinity of 91 and maryland, but that was not my concern) Once I got over to the other side, we saw that traffic control was not allowing traffic straight through – you had to turn north, so I pulled over to the curb. All this time, geekboy (and i’m being kind – he musta been born in the ugly tree, and hit several branches when he fell out) is on the phone, telling “Susie” to hurry and meet us – he had a cab, and we were sitting at 91 and Maryland…I know it’s a long way, but run, babe, because we hafta move soon…

The officer working traffic control on the west side of the neighborhood sauntered over. I told him we were waiting for geekboy’s girlfriend, and she should be right there soon. He told me he would work with me – I couldn’t sit on the curb like I was, but if I pulled up to the light I didn’t have to go through the light unless someone came up behind me. I thanked him, and pulled up to the stop line. Soon after, a vehicle pulled in behind me (of course!). I had to move, so I went north a little bit to the next break in the traffic cones, glanced around, and u-turned back to Maryland – we were going to get in!

I made the turn in at Maryland, and was cruising along in the single lane of cone-marked access allowed, when geekboy said “There she is! Hey, Susie!” She was walking along the other side of the street, oblivious to the BRIGHT GREEN CAB that geekboy was hanging out of while talking to geekboy on the phone. I found a spot where the cones were a little spread apart, and pulled another u-turn. I am so glad the police were paying attention to the cones, and not me…

I pulled up next to oblivious girl – I mean, Susie – and geekboy jumps out, gets her attention, and they start talking about how she wants to stay and party at Westgate and he wants to go to their place. I have to interject here, though – she was not in his class. Actually, he was nowhere near HER class, based on looks – she was a drop-dead, stonecoldfox, good looking kid. You know – makes the cheer squad on looks alone type. I figure either he was a really good kisser (wink wink nudge nudge) or his credit line made Bill Gates look poor. I digress.

She wanted to stay and party, he wanted to go to their place. Why? It turns out that the Eagles were enjoying theire one and only lead in the game, and he was upset that the Cardinals had blown their massive lead. He kept telling me to go to 43rd Avenue and Union Hills (a pretty nice fare from Westgate, on top of the running in circles we had already done) and she kept telling him that she wanted to stay and party. All this time I was still sitting at the curb, and their argument was running about 45 cents per minute. Finally, he got huffy, told her to get in, and as she was getting in the back he got in the front seat. I took off, turning north on 91st and hitting a red light at Glendale, where the argument peaked. She said “Fine. Just let me out here, and you can go where ever.” “Oh, come on, Susie – don’t be like that!” The light turned green, and I started across the intersection.

She decided to assert her independence at that particular point in time, and opened her door – as we were accelerating across Glendale. I hollered at her to close the door and wait until I pulled over – I aimed for the bus pull out on the other side. No sooner had I pulled in there that she was out and gone. He was sitting there, looking all hurt, and kind of crying a little bit. I thought to myself “wow. what a weird chain of events.” Then, out loud – “Uh, where to, then?”

Being all butthurt, he choked out “83rd and Cactus. I wanna go to my parents house.”

When I got to the house he directed me to, the meter read $32 and change. He gave me two twenties, jumped out, and ran to the front door. I left, thinking I should have told him that the meter was $32 and his man card.

Still, not bad for a half hour’s work and I still had the rest of the night to make lots of runs – which I did.

Chat ya later…

cary

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4 Responses to “Rainy Monday”

  1. comment number 1 by: Bloviating Zeppelin

    Great story. I like “slice of life” stuff. I too received a thick amount (1.5′) of Global Warming on Sunday, and then another half foot of Global Warming last night.

    BZ

  2. comment number 2 by: cary

    I’ve got a few more of the cab stories, but no more source, since I’m not driving anymore at the request of the Better Half.

    Flagstaff got quite a bit, overall, and we got enough rain down here that Roosevelt lake will have to start releasing and the normally dry Salt River will be flowing for a while. If the snow melts slowly enough, the River should flow for most of the year, which will be a nice change (and also flush the atrocity called “Tempe Town Lake”).

  3. comment number 3 by: Just John

    I’m starting to wonder if they’ve cut production on man cards…Guys like him seem to be surviving, and breeding, at an alarming rate.

  4. comment number 4 by: cary

    I’m thinking they quit handing them out after the gym class where you have to climb the rope.

    Probably because they had to “even the playing field” and make “everybody a winner”.

    Yech.