Can I prove it? Sadly, not thinking about the implications, I failed to order a documentary crew to follow me around.

Can I tell you about it?

Yesterday was Mom #2’s service. I was asked to be a pall bearer. As I walked into the chapel for the viewing, concentrating on what Mom’s daughter was telling me, I realized that I could make out her words as through a curtain of syrup.

Praise God!

I would like to think that Mom had something to do with that. She was a true prayer warrior and a woman of God.

Thank you, Mom.

Now, almost 24 hours later, I am starting to hear more clearly. I can catch details. I hear birds chirping out the back door. I can hear the dogs snoring in the next room.

Last night, it was to the point where I could hear as through a thick curtain, no syrup.

Last night I could hear my little girl’s voice again.

There is still a background of (BZ! DON’T READ THIS PART!) “white” noise, that “skshshshshs” that’s been going on since it started, but it’s not overwhelming everything else into submission.

I don’t care.

I can hear.

Chat ya later…

I’ve ‘heard’ that the one thing people around me miss while I am going through my lack of hearing is my sense of humor. I miss it too. The problem is, my sense of humor keys off of audio cues – I riff on what other people are saying. Since I can’t hear all the little things that are “riffable” I can’t crack wise. Or smart.

Yes, I can kind of make out what you are saying – if you are looking at me, and I am concentrating on what your lips are saying along with the context clues of your facial features and body language. That concentration is not allowing my mind to wander down the side paths that are where my humor hides; this means there are many gems that won’t see the light of day until I can hear again.

I have been asked if I am going to learn ASL. I am sure that ASL would be a good thing to know. I will probably learn it, yes, but not as my primary means of communication. You see, I believe that God is going to heal me – or He will allow the Doctors to figure out which technology will be best for me. Either way, I know that I am going to hear again. I don’t know when, and I will work on ASL while I am waiting, but ASL is not the answer if my position as a manager of a retail store remains. Not all customers can ‘speak’ ASL, and if one of them is asking me a question form around the corner, and I just walk away …

Today’s testing is complete. The technician mapped my nerves. It was very relaxing; in fact, I’m pretty sure I took a little nap while in the chair. Results will be discussed with the inner ear specialist on the 18th.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I am looking forward to it. I will keep you posted.

Chat ya later…

Thanks for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, and Wear Red on Fridays!

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The following words are keyed to attract the attention of the DHS and the NSA – including the new “Spy Center” in Bluffdale, UT: Terrorism Al Qaeda (all spellings) Terror Attack Iraq Afghanistan Iran Pakistan Agro Environmental terrorist Eco terrorism Conventional weapon Target Weapons grade Dirty bomb Enriched Nuclear Chemical weapon Biological weapon Ammonium nitrate Improvised explosive device IED (Improvised Explosive Device) Abu Sayyaf Hamas FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia) IRA (Irish Republican Army) ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna) Basque Separatists Hezbollah Tamil Tigers PLF (Palestine Liberation Front) PLO (Palestine Liberation Organization) Car bomb Jihad Taliban Weapons cache Suicide bomber Suicide attack Suspicious substance AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian Peninsula) AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb) TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan) Yemen Pirates Extremism Somalia Nigeria Radicals Al-Shabaab Home grown Plot Nationalist Recruitment Fundamentalism Islamist Emergency Hurricane Tornado Twister Tsunami Earthquake Tremor Flood Storm Crest Temblor Extreme weather Forest fire Brush fire Ice Stranded/Stuck Help Hail Wildfire Tsunami Warning Center Magnitude Avalanche Typhoon Shelter-in-place Disaster Snow Blizzard Sleet Mud slide or Mudslide Erosion Power outage Brown out Warning Watch Lightening Aid Relief Closure Interstate Burst Emergency Broadcast System Cyber security Botnet DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Denial of service Malware Virus Trojan Keylogger Cyber Command 2600 Spammer Phishing Rootkit Phreaking Cain and abel Brute forcing Mysql injection Cyber attack Cyber terror Hacker China Conficker Worm Scammers Social media

I was going to theme my posts for a while with silence – but I figured that would be boring after about two minutes. Boring for you, dear reader, since I am constantly amusing myself in my head. Anything to try to forget that I’m not getting any aural stimulation.

MRI yesterday, specialist again on Tuesday and another on Friday; Tuesday they are going to do a direct injection of steroids into the eardrum. Well, through the eardrum. We’ll see what happens with that. My friend Angie had this done to save her hearing, but it was too late in the process.

My beautiful wife has been acting as my liaison with the medical types. She has had the surgery conversation with them, since it was over the phone. So, they are looking at accelerating everything because bilateral complete loss is fairly rare. (I know – what are the odds? couldn’t hit those odds when the lottery was in the hundreds of millions, but when it came to my hearing …) They are talking about an implant in each ear. Not being a big fan of surgery, I am praying that the steroids will make some kind of improvement in either the hearing ability (allow me to hear through the static) or reduce the static itself (possibly allowing sound to get through). I envy your prayers in both of these paths, I especially envy your prayers if surgery becomes the only option.

Get on out and seize the day – love your family, listen to the birds sing, and protect your senses. Wear red today – to show your support for our troops. Thank a member of the military for their service.

Praise God in all you do.

Chat ya later…

Thanks for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, and Wear Red on Fridays!

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When it gets right down to it, I’m the one who thought he didn’t need hearing protection all the time. Just when it was going to be louder than normal, right? Certainly not while waiting my turn on the rifle or pistol range. Certainly not while walking through the shop – not if I wasn’t the one operating the tools, right?

When it gets right down to it, it’s my own fault that the tinnitus is SO FREAKIN’ LOUD that I can’t even get to sleep because of it …

Well, I get to serve as a bad example. I could tour factories and military posts and say “Boys and girls, use your hearing protection. If you don’t, you will grow up to be just like me. Deaf, tired, and grumpy because you look back and realize you could have avoided the same fate.”

grump, grump, grump …

Tinnitus is what I have. Not bad enough to get a surgery to correct it, but bad enough to hear it all. the. time.

This is on top of the slight hearing loss that makes it difficult – nay, impossible! – to hear more than one source of sound clearly at a time. So, if you are talking to me and telling me about the program you are watching, please pause or mute the program before talking, or it all comes at me like an audible bowl of oatmeal.

The tinnitus, though – it’s starting to get on my physical nerves. Imagine, if you will, the sound of the station between stations on the FM band. Not AM – that’s too harsh of a sound. That FM non-station sound is constant in your imagination, and it is unceasing. No matter what time of day or night, you can hear it. The volume level is about three on a scale of ten. Not overly loud, but constant.

I hear it when I wake up in the morning. I’ve been hearing it all night, unconsciously. When I fall asleep at night, I fall asleep hard because I am tired. When my body gets enough sleep to become aware, usually after a couple hours, then I can hear the tinnitus again. It won’t let me fall back asleep. I toss and turn then, for the rest of the night. I fall asleep from physical exhaustion again about an hour before my alarm goes off to start another day. I get out of bed, still tired, both physically and mentally. This cycle repeats every day.

(doing the same thing, over and over, expecting a different result …)

I yawn during the day. A lot. I cover it up mostly, so no one sees it at work. How would that look, the manager yawning all the time? Once in a while a yawn catches me off guard and I have to work hard to stifle it in front of the boss or worse, a customer.

Boss can see this post. She knows I have the hearing issues cropping up lately. Now, she knows how else it affects me.

I’m not saying this to elicit sympathy. I am saying this as a matter of explaining. Letting you know why I don’t respond immediately when you call my name. Filling all of you in on why I don’t always know everything that is said to me. Ask yourself: Did he acknowledge what I said? Was he looking at me when I said it? Was there another sound source when I was speaking to him?

If I smile and nod at you when/while you are talking to me, I can’t hear you and I am just trying to be polite.

Please don’t be offended when I ask you to repeat what you said. Again. And once more, to make sure I heard you correctly.

Chat ya later…

Thanks for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, and Wear Red on Fridays!

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