When I last left ya’ll, I was planning on going to Tucson on Wednesday. That changed. Monday evening, I got a phone call from my Mom’s number, and it was actually Mom on the phone. She told me she loved me, and that she was dying. My sister then got on the phone and I told her I would be down probably Wednesday.

When I went in to work on Tuesday morning, I informed my employers that I needed to be in Tucson for an unknown length of time, and why, granted me best wishes and an advance, and told me to get out of the deli. I left Tuesday morning. As I was driving past the airport, my sister, Lynn, called me and said that they were going to transport Mom to an inpatient hospice facility to better get a handle on the pain medication issue. (the pain meds were making Mom nauseous, which made keeping any meds down impossible) Lynn said it was up to me whether I came down or not. After a second’s hesitation, I told her I would be there.

One thing about a two hour drive across the desert – you get a lot of phone calls done, and a lot of music listened to. I met Lynn at an AMPM in Tucson; I followed her to the Casa de la Luz Hospice.

When we walked into Mom’s room, she had just been settled in. She was still feeling a bit of pain, her legs mostly, and the nurse came in shortly after to start working on the fine-tuning of the meds. Mom looked at Lynn first, and smiled at her. Lynn spoke soothing and reassuring words to Mom. Then she said,”Hey, Mom, Cary’s here with me.” Mom looked over at me, and said “This is my dramatic death bed scene. How’s it going so far?” I told her she was missing the dramatic, overarching background music. Just then the CD player that I hadn’t seen started playing a new track of Beethoven. Talk about perfect timing.

Lynn and I sat with her while the pain meds were administered, and she fell into a really peaceful, deep sleep. Lynn and I left, to get some dinner, and spend some time at Mom’s home. (Lynn has been staying with Mom and taking care of her for quite a few years now, for which “Thank You” doesn’t even cover it) Lynn has been fighting a cold, and after a light supper she took some cold medicine and sat down in the living room with me, fully intending to be sociable and chat. She fell asleep, since she was also exhausted on top of the cold medicine. I went back to sit with Mom for a bit.

I walked into her room about the time she was coming up out of the med-induced nap. I said hi, and told her I loved her. She looked at me and said, “Cary? How long have you been in town?” I reminded her I had gotten in earlier that day, and that Lynn and I had already been there. She looked at me and said “You know, I am very proud of all of you. Please tell everyone that I love them. I’m dying, Cary. I just wish I could have helped LeaAnn more.” I told her that she did everything she could for LeaAnn, and she would not appreciate being someone’s last regret. Mom gave me one of her looks. I was nine again, helpless to help, and not knowing what I could do to make her comfortable. I kissed her, wished her goodnight, and told her I would see her in the morning. The nurse came in and gave her another dose of pain meds. Mom slipped back into an easy sleep, deep breathing, and pain free. I headed back to her home.

One of Mom’s last wishes was that she be able to pass at home. Our hope and prayer was that the pain meds could be fine tuned so she could be transported back to her home for her last hours.

Lynn and I met back over at the Hospice Wednesday morning, jsut before noon. Mom was slipping in and out of the medicine-caused soup, sometimes sleeping, sometimes with a little cry of pain. We sat with her, talked to her, loved on her; kissed her, stroked her face and arms (anything else caused pain) and chatted with one another. An administrator (I think it was Bonnie; please forgive me, wonderful people at Hospice, for not remembering all the names of the people who were there!) came in and said there was a phone call for Mom, and showed Lynn how to transfer the call to the room phone. Our brother, Brian, was on the phone, and talked to Mom. Mom’s face reacted, her mouth forming words, her eyes moving back and forth and her eyebrows raising and lowering as she listened, but she was unable to speak.

Mom passed shortly after, around 5:10 pm. Lynn and I had stepped out of the room, kind of wondering if our older sister was going to call also (she had said she would, but time had passed) and when we stepped back in Mom’s breathing had stopped. We tried to find a pulse on her neck, but it was not there. We looked at each other across her bed, and didn’t need to say a word. I walked out and found Bonnie, and told her that I was pretty sure Mom was gone; Bonnie said she would send in a nurse. Cheryl came in and checked, the shake of her head was all it took. We started taking turns calling family members and answering questions for the staff – they offered to wash her body and prepare it; they would call whoever they needed to (University of Arizona’s Medical School – you are getting a wonderful gift. Please treat her body with respect). Hearing our brothers and sister as they heard the news was hard; re-composing one’s self after each call before the next was difficult; the truth of the matter is that it still hasn’t sunk in all the way for me.

I spent the night at Mom’s home again, and Thursday morning I said my good byes to Lynn and headed out back to my home, reassuring Lynn that if she needed my help with anything at all to just call me, and I would get there as quickly as possible. The drive back was long and quiet, with only the music of KLOVE to keep me company.

Thank you all for keeping my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Chat ya later…

(please note – the information below is subject to rapid changes for reasons that will soon be apparent – and it is, in fact, a change from the latest conversation with certain family members)

President’s Day – the Paper Plate was closed, but driving a cab was profitable today. In case you didn’t know, I’ve been driving during the day, and it’s mostly doctor runs and grocery calls, so no weirdos. Mostly. Except for the second to last run today, involving a couple of cross dressing show “girls” headed for work, it was a busy and boring day.

Until about noon, that is. The news started pouring in. TMBWitW’s cardiologist gave her a mostly clean bill of health – with the exception of a vitamin D deficiency, even her BP was in the normal range. My sister called. She Who Must Be Obeyed is, in the parlance of Hospice, actively dying. I had been planning on going to the Old Pueblo on Saturday; now it looks like I’ll be there Wednesday morning until … which means, of course, that anything I had on the platter for shows, trains, music, practice, whatever, is now on indefinite hold.

I’ll be off the grid for a while. Unless, of course, I can get access to an internet connection and I can remember my passwords. Please keep the family in your prayers and good thoughts.

Chat ya later…

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, don’t buy or breed cats or dogs while homeless pets die (spay, neuter & adopt a pet, one by one, until there are none), Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

Are you wearing red?

A friend of mine sent me this, and I had to pass it on:

Where To Put His Picture

George Washington, our nation’s first President and leader of the American Revolution:

Abe Lincoln, honorable leader pulled our nation through its darkest time:

Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first secretary of the treasure and leader of the constitutional convention:

Andrew Jackson, “Old Hickory ” fought the British in New Orleans:

Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the North through the Civil War:

Ben Franklin, Genius inventor, political theorist and a leading author of the constitution:

What can I say about this next politician? More of his voters will see it here than any other place, so it is appropriate:

Be sure to join me tonight at 2200 MST for The “O” Word on this Valentine Weekend. UPDATE: no show tonight, due to Valentine Date Night Schedule.

In case I don’t talk to you beforehand, have a great President’s Day!

Chat ya later…

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, don’t buy or breed cats or dogs while homeless pets die (spay, neuter & adopt a pet, one by one, until there are none), Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

I was cleaning out some old notebooks (trying to find some I could use to hold my music) when I ran across a piece of paper.

It wasn’t just any old piece of paper – I don’t think I could come up with a post based on any old piece of paper, although that sounds like a good challenge – this piece of paper came from a very special person.

You see, a Long, Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away, I used to belong to a group of people. Not just any group – but The Valley Cathedral PowerFull Praise Choir and Orchestra. It was a group of about 125 voices that had a very wide range of songs, under the leadership of Dwayne McLuhan. I ended up being the administrator for the Worship and Arts Department for a while. There was a lady who was part of the group by the name of Pat Fischer. Actually, I am convinced that she was an angel here on a special undercover mission. No matter what day or time you ran into her, no matter what kind of news she had just gotten from her oncologists, she always turned the conversation to you. How are you doing? Can we pray about anything for you? How is your family? She was designated as the “Warm and Fuzzy Coordinator” since she was warm and fuzzy for all of us anyway.

Yes, oncologists. Pat had cancer. She lived with it for many years. Lots of people say they fight cancer – Pat lived with it. She lived with it because God gave it to her, and as with any gift from God, Pat cherished it. Not because it was cancer and it would eventually take her away from us for a time, but because it allowed her to refine her walk by helping her to focus on the important things in life – God, service in Jesus’ name, and those around her.

I still have the last e-mail I got from her (not the piece of paper I am talking about) where she actually said something about herself: “Dear Cary, I have some not-so-good news. My doctors say there is nothing more they can do for my cancer. It’s OK, though, because it means that I get to go to sleep and when I wake up, I’ll get to see Jesus!” What a heart for God.

Anyway, here it is – I thought of Pat, and my sister LeaAnn, and all the people who have been dealing with cancer, and how this piece sure takes the sting away and puts it in perspective:

TENTMAKER

It was nice living in this tent when it was strong and secure and the sun was shining and the air was warm but Mr. Tentmaker, it’s scary now. My tent is acting like it’s not going to hold together. The poles seem weak and they shift with the wind. A couple of the stakes have wiggled loose from the sand. Worst of all the canvas has a rip. It no longer protects me from beating rain or stinging flies. It’s scary in here Mr. Tentmaker. Last week I was sent to the repair shop and some repairmen tried to patch the rip in my canvas. It didn’t help much though because the patch pulled away from the edges and not the tear is worse. What troubled me most, Mr. Tentmaker, is that the repairmen didn’t even seem to notice that I was still in the tent. They just worked on the canvas while I shivered inside. I cried out once but no one heard me. I guess my first real question is, Why did you give me such a flimsy tent? I can see by looking around the campground that some of the tents are much stronger and more stable than mine. Why, Mr. Tentmaker, did you pick a tent of such poor quality for me, and even more important what do you intend to do about it?

“O little tent dweller, as the creator and provider of tents, I know all about you and your tent, and I love you both. I made a tent for myself once, and lived in it on your campground. My tent was vulnerable too, and some vicious attackers ripped it to pieces while I was still in it. It was a terrible experience, but you’ll be glad to know, they couldn’t hurt me. In fact, the whole occurrence was a tremendous advance because it is this very victory over my enemy that frees me to be a present help to you. O little tent dweller, I am now prepared to come and live in your tent with you if you’ll invite me. You’ll learn, as we dwell together, that real security comes from my being in your tent with you. When the storms come, you can huddle in my arms and I’ll hold you. When the canvas rips, we’ll go to the repair shop together. Some day, little tent dweller, some day your tent’s going to collapse. You see I’ve only designed it for temporary use. But when it does, you and I are going to leave together. I promise not to leave before you do. And then, free of all that would hinder or restrict, we’ll move to our permanent home and together forever we’ll rejoice and be glad.”

I’ll just be sitting here missing Pat and LeaAnn and a few others for a while…

Chat ya later…

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, don’t buy or breed cats or dogs while homeless pets die (spay, neuter & adopt a pet, one by one, until there are none), Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

WASHINGTON – Rep. John Murtha, a retired Marine Corps officer who became the first Vietnam War combat veteran elected to Congress and later an outspoken and influential critic of the Iraq War, died Monday. He was 77.
SOURCE

Why the “EX” in the title? Marines have a saying – “Once a Marine, always a Marine. There are only formerly active Marines.” There has been one exception since 1961 (Oswald, although his training showed – long range shot, down hill, at a moving target…) and Murtha has been added to the short list of EX Marines.

Now, I’m gonna start taking the advice of Momma and stop talking, since I have nothing nice to say about the man.

Chat ya later…

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, don’t buy or breed cats or dogs while homeless pets die (spay, neuter & adopt a pet, one by one, until there are none), Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!