The "O" Word
Conservative by Nature, Christian by Choice
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This is Too Funny Not to Share

April 4th, 2006 . by Cary

Found this while surfing today, I’m sorry I can’t remember the site it came from…

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer: Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor, or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:BANG!

Southern Republican’s Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…..(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
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7 Responses to “This is Too Funny Not to Share”

  1. comment number 1 by: Fix4RSO
    April 5th, 2006 at 20:17

    I ALWAYS love that one!

    “Nice grouping …” 🙂

  2. comment number 2 by: Cary
    April 6th, 2006 at 06:54

    Glad to be able to bring a smile…

  3. comment number 3 by: jarhead john
    April 6th, 2006 at 13:00

    Hadn’t read it in a while, but it always lifts my spirits.

  4. comment number 4 by: Jenn of the Jungle
    April 7th, 2006 at 13:01

    I liked the “nice grouping” too. ; )

    I’d would definately fall in the last two.

  5. comment number 5 by: Cary
    April 7th, 2006 at 14:38

    I figured you would, Jenn.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  6. comment number 6 by: prying1
    April 10th, 2006 at 07:43

    I laugh everytime I see this joke.

    Wonder how the liberals react to it?

    Probably with thoughts like: Was Cary really trying to hurt my feelings or was he just trying to be funny? Are all people on the right this mean spirited? Was I suppossed to laugh at this?

  7. comment number 7 by: Cary
    April 10th, 2006 at 08:34

    Thanks for stopping by, Paul.

    Yeah, I’ve already heard from a liberal. I had e-mailed this bit of humor to several people I thought would enjoy it, turns out one of them is a closet liberal (Hello, my name is Cary, and I have a friend who is … is … a liberal.)

    He e-mailed back to me and several others we both know with “How do you tell the difference between a soldier and a terrorist?” I’m fixing to reply with “Soldiers target combatants, terrorists don’t care who they kill.” Since the liberal is my pastor, I figure I should start looking for a new church…